The Fine Art of Selling Out
If authors are going to be doing product placements
to earn big corporate bucks, Will Ferguson says, he wants
some too.
Will Ferguson
Movie producers and rock musicians have long known the
cash value of strategic "product placement," but the literary
world was thought to be above such crass commercialization.
Until now.
In what may be the world's first corporately sponsored
novel, British author Fay Weldon was commissioned by Bulgari,
an Italian jewellery firm, to write a book--but only on
the condition that she mention the company's products, by
name, at least a dozen times.
As an unabashed but sadly unrequited opportunist myself,
I say "Bully for her!" It's about time we sensitive literary
types got a piece of the pie. Especially if it's Sarah Lee
Ltd. Old Fashioned, Down-Home, Country-Style Apple Pie.
("Just Like Grandma Used to Bake"tm). Mmm-mm.
Them's good eats!
Canada's own Mordecai Richler once went through an entire
600-page hand-typed manuscript and labouriously changed
the name of the Scotch that the main character drinks to
Macallan, solely because he had heard that the Macallan
Highland distillery in Scotland had recently rewarded a
filmmaker with a complementary case of Scotch simply because
said filmmaker happened to feature a bottle of their product
in one of his movies. Mordecai wasn't looking for money,
he was looking for free Scotch. And who can blame him? I
would have done the same. (Though personally I prefer the
rich smooth taste of Crown Royal. Mmm-mmm.)
In Britain, meanwhile, there have been all kinds of suggestions
for future author-sponsor pairings in the wake of Weldon's
diamond sponsors. The Guardian suggested Oscar Wilde's The
Picture of Dorian Gray, brought to you by Oil of Olay,
and more possibilities soon followed: everything from Kafka's
Metamorphosis, as sponsored by Raid, to Nick Hornby's
High Fidelity, brought to you by Sony International.
In Canada, you could come up with similar lists. The
Blind Assassin, as brought to you by the CNIB. Jan Wong
as sponsored by the Masochists Society of Canada. ("DO
IT JAN, DO IT. DON'T STOP!") The English Patient,
as sponsored by Sleepy Time Sedatives. (Can't sleep? Take
two chapters of Ondaatje--and you'll be dozing off in no
time.) Anne of Green Gables as shamelessly promoted
by the Tourism Board of Prince Edward--oh, hang on, that's
been done already. Or Evan Solomon as relentlessly promoted
by the CBC--oops, that's been done already, too.
But why stop at individual authors and their works? You
would think the Planned Parenthood Association would be
keen to sponsor an entire genre of Canadian literature.
I am referring, of course, to the Dysfunctional Family Novel,
a CanLit staple if ever there was one. Surely these endless,
numbing Canadian family dramas are a compelling argument
in favour of birth control.
When it comes to product placement, the biggest catch,
by far, would have to be Naomi Klein. Think of what a coup
that would be! (And is it just me, or wouldn't the cover
of No Logo make an excellent logo?) Klein--anti-global,
anti-corporate, anti-gravity--is the Voice of Her Generation.
Young people look up to her. And we all know how many sneakers
and CDs they buy! Imagine how much more stuff you could
sell with Naomi out there shilling for you.
Alas, it looks as though someone else has already beaten
me to it, because Klein has clearly sold out. It's true.
Flip open No Logo to any page and what do you see?
Brand names and corporate slogans everywhere.
Here is Ms. Klein on page 138: "The idea is to make Gap's
family of brands synonymous with clothing in the same way
that McDonald's is synonymous with hamburgers and Coke is
synonymous with soft drinks."
Do you see how she manages to work in the names of three
different corporations into a single sentence? Shameless,
eh?
And here she is again on page 150: "Nike, Diesel, Warner
Brothers, Tommy Hilfiger, Sony, Virgin, Microsoft, Hustler
and the Discovery Channel have all leaped into branded retail."
And on and on it goes. Pepsi, Reebok, Calvin Klein, Starbucks,
Mattel, Levi Strauss, MTV: She must have been paid off by
every major corporation in existence, given the number of
product placements they receive. And if Naomi Klein can
be co-opted, then no one is safe.
Any impressionable young writers out there who want to
maintain their integrity will have to be as steady as a
Mazda Protege, as pure as a bar of Ivory Soap, as polished
as a sleek Aiwa DVD system with surround-sound, as bold
as a box of Tim Horton's donuts!! I tell you, it's enough
to make your head spin. I think I need a drink.
Any offers?
Will Ferguson's debut novel, Generica , was published
this year without corporate sponsorship. Alas.
The Globe and Mail
September 8, 2001
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